Lilacs
impersonal
transfigured
memoryless
cast aside
forgotten
Roots moving inside the earth
under the summer rain
No winter can take
the seeds away from its bosom
They’ll stay motionless
waiting for the spring
*
This is perfect. I think it should stay as it is. Every word in each line builds one-upon-another to the climax of spring. Anyone familiar with The Waste Land will understand your references from the death of Phlebas by Eliot to your allusion to the lilacs awaiting birth in spring, which I take to mean a rebirth of a person cast aside also. That may be reading too much into your lines but I believe it hints toward that direction.
3 July 2000
Nenhum comentário:
Postar um comentário